The Supreme Court's Decision - Now What? (part 2)

The Supreme Court’s Decision – 

Now What? (part 2)

350z33 at English Wikipedia [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0) or GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)], via Wikimedia Commons

          In my first post about the Supreme Court’s Obergefell decision redefining marriage, I focused on our personal response, especially with individuals in our lives who see the court’s ruling as a cause for celebration.  In this post, I’d like to tackle some of the larger, societal questions I mentioned, such as: What does it mean?, and, What do we do next?

          First of all, the Supreme Court’s decision does not mean that now same-sex “marriage” is a reality.  It never can be a reality.  The Supreme Court did not create marriage, so it has no authority to recreate it.  However, the decision does mean that the marriage law of our land is now divorced from reality.

          Such an event is always a major problem.  When it comes to marriage, it is an even greater problem.  The state has always been concerned with marriage because it is an institution that provides stability for children, and a legal connection for them with their parents.  The stable family in which a child has a right to the presence of both its mother and father is the building block of any healthy society.  By disregarding this truth - the purpose of the family, and the legitimate needs of children – that building block has been pulled out from the foundation of our society.  If our nation lasts, with any of its former strength, for long after this, it will be the first in history to do so.

          That being said, the Roe v Wade decision 40 years ago was even more devastating than this one.  Our culture has been on life support ever since.  Is it any surprise that Sister Lucia reportedly said that the final confrontation between Our Lord and satan will be over the family?

          She also said that those who defend the sanctity of marriage and the family will be opposed.  This is what we have to look forward to now.  There will shortly be an attack on the tax-exempt status of churches over this issue, and faithful Catholic schools will be fighting for their lives.  Even we as individuals had better be ready for increased suffering.

          We wonder whether the United States could turn into Canada, where simply defending traditional marriage can have a person fined for hate speech and even thrown into jail.  At one level, we would think it could not.  I consider all the court cases involving the Ku Klux Klan, in which free speech rights were upheld by the courts.  Essentially, the mantra was: “We hate what you say, but we will fight for your right to say it.”

          Does that still apply, though?  Judges are no longer faithful defenders of the law.  They are simply politicians like the rest.  Time will tell which freedoms will be defended and which will be discarded.  In all this, we should also remember that Sister Lucia, in commenting on this great battle, echoed the words of Our Lord: “Do not be afraid.”  The head of the serpent has already been crushed.  We are on the winning team.  Our goal is to stay faithful.  Save our souls, and as many others as we can.  The victory is the Lord’s.  (Let us also remember, when persecution comes, that vengeance is also the Lord’s; our call is to forgive.)

          So the long battle for religious liberty continues.  A great example of what needs to be done on that front was given by the governor of Texas, Greg Abbott, who responded to the court’s ruling by issuing a directive protecting religious liberty.  Especially with a Presidential election coming, this must be a non-negotiable issue for us.

          One important thing to remember is that as much damage as the Obergefell decision will do, those five judges aren’t really as important as we all make them out to be.  The decision did not create a disaster for our culture, it only revealed where our culture already is.  A far more important meeting of far more important people will be happening this September in Philadelphia, when the Church holds its World Meeting of Families.

          This best answers the question: What do we do next?  Of course, the Church’s teaching on marriage will not (and can not) change.  But will this challenge be met head on?  I am not looking as much for condemnations (necessary as they often are) as for a clear positive vision.

          The problem is not that our country will have same-sex “marriage.”  The problem is that our culture (the entire Western world) has lost a true vision of what it is to be human; what it is to be a man or a woman; what marriage and the family is all about; and where our destiny lies.  We need to be reminded, and who, besides the Church of Jesus Christ, can do that?

          Now I do not presume to have even remotely the prudence or understanding of our shepherds, so I will simply pray, trusting them to their task.

          But I would love to see a massive educational campaign, that becomes a primary focus in each of our parishes, to restore in our hearts God’s vision of who we truly are. 

          And that vision is beautiful, far more beautiful than anything the secular culture has to offer.  It is not about “Thou shalt not,” but rather, “Thou can become…”  Everyone is welcome; everyone is invited to be the glorious saint God has destined us to be, if only we respond to the grace He offers.  This effort should not set us at odds with any group, rather it should give hope to all groups. 

Our culture demands that people be defined by their attractions, or even worse, their sexual habits.  We Catholics can see much deeper.  We can see every person as a precious child of God, beautiful but broken.  We are all beautiful but broken.  You struggle with same-sex attraction?  Fine, I have my own struggles, and I will not measure mine against yours to exalt myself.  I always stand in awe when I see someone shouldering a cross that I know I’d never be strong enough to carry.  And if I can help them carry their cross, whether it is same-sex attraction or whatever, and they can help me carry mine, perhaps we can both become saints together.  Whatever our bishops decide in September (and let us not forget to pray for them!), that can be a task for all of us.

The Supreme Court's Decision - Now What?

The Supreme Court’s Decision –

Now What?

350z33 at English Wikipedia [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0) or GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)], via Wikimedia Commons

          Last week’s Supreme Court ruling would seem to have been an answer to a major cultural question.  But rather than an answer, it was really the opening to many more questions: What does it mean?  What will happen next?  What are we, as Christians, to do?  Are we living in the End Times?  Or does it at least spell the end for our country? 

          I have heard all of these asked over the past few days; I have asked some of them myself.  Over the next week or so, I will be reflecting on them and sharing some of my (very unauthoritative) thoughts.

          The first question I need to answer (which all of us do) is a very personal one.  We are probably all close to people (friends, family, coworkers) who see last Friday’s decision as a cause for great celebration.  We have probably all had to endure some of that celebration the past few days.  How do we respond to that?

          There is no question that much of it has been, and will continue to be, crass and revolting.  We will be taunted, called bigots who have finally been placed firmly on the wrong side of history, and scorned.  It seems to me that such responses should be met with patience, but essentially ignored.  They are without depth and dignity, and do not deserve a response.

          However, I do not begrudge the marriage redefiners their celebration.  The day that all human life is protected from conception to natural death, I will certainly celebrate, rightly so.  I will try to be classy and gracious, but such an event would deserve to be celebrated.  Those on the other side of this issue must be feeling the same way right now.  I understand.  Even those who, in their zeal, have crossed the line, I can easily forgive.  It’s easy to go overboard at such an emotional moment.

          But how do we personally respond to those people we have, or certainly will, encounter, who celebrate last week’s decision of those five black-robed politicians?  There is no question that they are wrong; we need not back down on that point.  Last week’s decision no more puts us on the wrong side of history than did the Dred Scott decision put abolitionists on the wrong side of history.  Right is right and wrong is wrong, regardless of historical events.  (Besides, I’d much rather be on the right side of eternity than history.)

          It seems to me that the answer to the question of how we ought to respond is simple: with charity.  As much as I disagree with those who have sought to redefine marriage, I understand their position, and in most cases, I respect them.  I believe that most of the people I know personally have arrived at their position, by and large, compassionately.

          This is what I mean.  They and we hold totally different visions of what it is to be a human person – who we are, what our destiny is, and the genius of our creation.  We hold to a vision of the human person that is much larger and more beautiful than secular society offers.  We believe in a destiny in which our culture not only no longer believes; it no longer finds desirable.  We encourage men to be ruled by their higher nature, given by God, and in which they will find the fullest happiness.  But the world says that we have no higher nature; we have simply a highly evolved bestial nature.

          To be sure, not all those on the other side of the marriage issue have fallen for the entire secular bundle of lies.  But it is certain that their view of human beings, human sexuality, and marriage and family, differs greatly from ours.

          Here’s the point: if they are correct on those fundamental issues, then we are wrong about same-sex “marriage.”  Their view of “marriage equality” flows naturally, and compassionately, from their basic assumptions.

          On the other hand, if we are right about the fundamentals, then they are wrong about marriage.  Our view is the truly compassionate and loving one, loving towards everyone, because what we aspire to for all people, is higher and more beautiful, however difficult it may be.

          Therefore, although I soundly disagree with those who celebrate the Supreme Court’s decision, I can respect them – because both their position and mine are based on charity.  Genuine charity has led them from a faulty starting point to a faulty conclusion, but charity is something I can admire regardless. 

I do not scorn anyone for not knowing calculus.  I have never cut off a friend or family member because they could not properly conjugate irregular verbs.  Why, then, would I act in such a manner to one whose knowledge about man, sexuality and marriage is lacking?

I honor the charity in their hearts, and perhaps they can honor the charity in mine.  Now this does not answer all the questions that I began this article with, and there still remain large cultural questions and battles (probably for survival) to be fought.

But at least with this approach, I can love others as I hope to be loved by them.  In times like these, that’s at least a start.  May we all pray for the grace.

Saving Secular Marriage

Saving Secular Marriage

We have seen the redefinition of marriage repeatedly defeated at the ballot box, yet repeatedly enforced by judges.  In truth, marriage can not be redefined in either venue.  But many people are beginning to wonder, “Is it even worth the fight for us as Catholics to try and defend marriage in the secular sphere?”  After all, we are concerned with Sacramental marriage, which will not be touched, and society has long recognized as valid many unions which, in the proper sense, are not valid marriages.

The battle everyone agrees we must fight is that for religious liberty.  With courts trying to enforce our participation in same-sex “marriages,” there is much work to be done on that front.  So should we even care what secular society believes about marriage?

I believe the answer is “yes,” and something I saw recently hammered home the reasons why.  I was watching some game show and the exchange between the host and a contestant went like this:

Host: “You’re a married man?”

Contestant: “Yes, my wife and I have been married for 10 years.”

Host: “And you have children?”

Contestant: “We have three.  Our oldest daughter is 15, our son is 13, and our youngest daughter is 11.”

It was clear that the three kids are all from the contestant and his wife.  The youngest is 11, and they have been married for 10 years.  That means their oldest daughter was five years old, with two younger siblings before they decided to get married.  Now I’m not judging them personally; this is the culture in which we live.  The fact that they are still together, and the three children are with both of their natural parents, means that this family is actually ahead of the game, nowadays.

But I’ve known many people with similar circumstances.  The state licenses marriages in the first place because sociological studies (and common sense) overwhelmingly demonstrate that a married mother and father provide the best environment in which children can grow up.

Should we care about the state of secular marriage?  Yes, because as St. John Paul II said, “As the family goes, so goes the world.”  The problem is that we’re getting forced into a debate exclusively about same-sex “marriage.”  The redefinition of marriage began years ago with the acceptance of wide-spread divorce.  That had to come first; once a generation grew up without a true sense of marriage, they would be able to accept all other sorts of redefinitions.

The media try to keep us focused on the same-sex issue because they like to portray us as bigots, or at least out-of-touch.  Nothing is further from the truth.  It is we who don’t define a person by his or her sexual attractions, but rather by the fact that they are made in the image and likeness of God.

What we need to do is adjust the message.  Our culture has lost a true vision of marriage.  Instead of letting other people focus on what we say “no” to, we need to let people see the beauty of what we’re saying “yes” to.

It’s the same reason we lost the culture on chastity, in large part.  The “sexual revolution” portrayed the Church as only telling people, “Thou shalt not,” but the truth is that the beauty of chastity, and what it means for fruitful relationships far outweighs the darkness of the sexual revolution.  But until recently, we have been so much on the defensive against the darkness, people have not been able to see the light we bear as Catholics.

We need to present the culture with a true, positive, beautiful view of what marriage really is.  And that means first, we as a Church must be living it.  Is it too late to save the culture?  Perhaps.  But, then again, let us never forget, as St. Teresa of Avila said, “God plus one equals an army.”  

Movie Event - 'Irreplaceable'

Movie Event - 'Irreplaceable' - May 6

 

Pope St. John Paul II said that “the future of humanity passes by way of the family.”  There is no question that in the modern world, the family is in crisis.  In recent years we’ve seen a cultural shift whereby we’re told no longer to lament the breakdown of the family, but to celebrate it.  Therefore, the future of humanity is doomed.

Or can we recapture the truth about marriage and the family?  Can we as a culture begin to question what we are being fed?  On May 6, there will be a one-day nationwide showing of Irreplaceable, a film by Focus on the Family that explores marriage throughout the world, and challenges our modern post-Christian vision of the family.

To find a showing near you, visit the Web site http://ccgaction.org/node/1747

Preparing for Holy Matrimony

Preparing for Holy Matrimony

There was a heart-breaking call recently on Catholic Answers from a woman who wanted to get married, but she and her fiancé had both had previous marriages.  As a practicing Catholic, she wanted to be married in the Church and fully participate in the sacramental life.  However, though her marriage had been annulled, her fiancé was tired of the long and involved process and was unwilling to continue pursuing an annulment for his previous marriage.

The distress in this caller’s voice was clear, and it couldn’t help but elicit sympathy from the hosts or listeners.  It got me thinking about my own marriage preparation.  I knew very well what the sacrament of Matrimony is, and know that my marriage is sacramental, and unbreakable.  But I thought back to my engaged encounter weekend.

There was a lot of talk about communication, finances, conflict resolution, in-laws, etc., but there was almost no talk about what the sacrament of Matrimony is all about, none of the Church teaching on divorce, and nothing on artificial contraception.

Many of the couples were mixed, with one partner a non-Catholic, clearly there for the sake of the Catholic partner.  And yet the weekend did nothing to help them understand what the commitment they were about to make really means.  I wonder how many of the Catholic partners even knew.  They all hoped for a sacramental marriage, but did any understand that such a bond can not be dissolved?  Perhaps this is why there are so many annulments these days. 

I have a priest friend who tells me couples routinely get annoyed at him for the rigors of his marriage preparation.  Oftentimes people simply want to be married in a church.  He says, however, that if someone comes to him to be married in the Church, he is determined that they will have a sacramental marriage and understand what it means.  His goal is to never have any of his marriages annulled. 

That should be, and probably is, every priest’s goal.  And yet, people are routinely coming to the altar of God with no idea what they are really doing.  And often our marriage prep is little help to them.  I remember one couple, in a discussion period, asking about artificial contraception on my weekend, and being told that the discussion that session was about planning the wedding.  Apparently the marriage itself was of little importance.

Now please don’t misunderstand me.  I know there are many very good marriage prep programs.  And often these programs are run by lay people who are doing their best.  They may not really understand the Church’s position, or fear they won’t be able to defend it.  Often I think they fear they might drive a non-Catholic partner away from a Church wedding, and so leave such issues to be dealt with by the Catholic partner in the way he or she finds most prudent.  The intentions, I’m sure, are good, but I fear the results are often disastrous.

This of course brings me back to the caller.  She now, later in life and understanding the sacrament of Matrimony, wants to do it right, but faces a laborious annulment process, which can be very emotional if it brings up old wounds.

Thanks be to God the Church has such a process in order to defend the clear teaching of Christ on marriage (Mt. 5: 31, 32), and ensure people that their subsequent marriages are indeed sacramental.  It is a very difficult role for priests to have to play, though, both emotionally and pastorally, and I’m sure many Catholics are faced with the burden of finding their partner unwilling to persevere.

One should, of course, not get involved until it is clear that both parties are free to marry, but I certainly can not judge anyone on that point. 

As we are sidetracked by the issue of same-sex “marriage,” our attention must not be taken off the catechetical need in the Church to educate people, especially young couples, on the sacrament of Matrimony.  Once we as a Catholic culture reclaim that, we will be a much more powerful voice on the marriage issue to the rest of the world.

The Hope for Divorce Reform

The Hope of Divorce Reform

Many people can’t remember or even imagine a time when there were any limits on divorce in the United States.  No-fault divorce has become such a part of our culture that the notion of restrictions on the reasons people can be divorced seem totally foreign.

Yet there was a time when our culture viewed marriage not primarily as an institution for the gratification of adults, but as an institution for the sake of the protection of children.  The Church, of course, sees marriage as an institution for the well-being of children and the sanctification of those who are called to that vocation.

The prevalence of divorce and the epidemic of “deadbeat dads” have done more to destroy our society than any evil save abortion, in my opinion.  Without question there are women and men who have joined their children as victims of divorce – one spouse decides they are not compatible or that they no longer wish to remain in a marriage, and there’s nothing the other can do.  Many of these people display heroic efforts to be loving parents and safeguard their children’s well-being. 

It is people like these, as well as their children, that will be greatly served if the efforts for divorce reform progressing through some statehouses pass and spread.

In Georgia, HB 684 would require parents seeking a divorce to take a class on the effects of divorce on children.  They would then be given a “cooling-off” period before they could file, and the divorce would not be granted for a year. 

Similar bills have been introduced in Texas, and an even more stringent waiting-period bill recently stalled in North Carolina (which already requires a year’s delay), but hopefully will be revived.

There is no question that the scourge of divorce has affected and deformed multiple generations of young people, and caused immeasurable pains to both men and women who have seen their spouses walk away from vows they had taken seriously.

There is very little we need more desperately than serious divorce reform.

Novena to Honor Martyrdom of John the Baptist

Novena to Honor John the Baptist: Martyr for Marriage

Image from http://acta-sanctorum.blogspot.com/2010/06/nativity-of-saint-john-baptist.html

 

http://www.catholicvote.org/a-novena-for-21st-century-catholics/